Wikipedia:Peer review/Arabian horse/archive1

Arabian horse

I would like to get this article to a place where it could be a featured article. Please review in particular the use of citation, citation format (please fix anything that's improperly formatted!), use of images (I'm not happy with the quality of the photos, but they're the best I can find that's GFDL or otherwise available so far), comment on length (but please don't cut any major sections without discussion, it got so long for a reason!), and look over the "controversies" section (almost everything in there is a result of a disagreement of some sort).

I don't know if this article can become a featured article or not, but I'd like to see what non-horsey reviewers think. Arabian horses are, for some reason I can't quite fathom, a rather controversial breed, and many issues have to be handled delicately to avoid upsetting those who care. Montanabw 06:53, 22 October 2006 (UTC)

Ah, Shadowfax. Erm, a larger lead for one, and I'd like to see a photo rather than a painting in the infobox.Wiki-newbie 19:54, 22 October 2006 (UTC)

• Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ _t 21:11, 22 October 2006 (UTC)

Will work on the lead, have yet to find a good enough photo in the public domain to use as a headliner of GOOD breed representative. Montanabw 04:22, 23 October 2006 (UTC)

Here's my view: (This is all I had time for, I'll come back later.)

• "It is one of the oldest breeds, with ancestry dating to the ancient world."
  • Redundant, something needs to be done.
• "Arabian bloodlines are found in the ancestry of almost every modern breed of riding horse."
  • Try "The Arabian horse is related to most modern riding horses."

-See the repetitive redundant and clumsy wording pattern? I will go on.

• "The Arabian developed in a desert climate and lived in the desert in close association with humans, often being brought..."
  • try to combine the verb: "The Arabian developed in a desert climate. During this time, it was often greatly cared for by its human owners."

Serious work here needed:

• This closeness to humans helped create a breed of horse with a good disposition, quick to learn, and willing to please. On the other hand, the breed is also classified as a "hot-blooded" breed of horse, and this same sensitivity requires Arabian horses to be handled with both competence and without abuse.

Notes: Contradictory. To fix this, specify that although it is a horse of good disposition, it requires respect and sensitivity from its owner.

All for now. --Evan^{(Salad dressing is the milk of the infidel!)} 22:29, 25 October 2006 (UTC)

Yes, I see where you are going with this. Given that this is the lead, which needs to be simple and concise, some material is well worth changing, though some is in the "terms of art" realm (the ancient breed stuff, and the fact that Arabians are not merely "related" but are the foundation stock of most modern breeds especially) and has to be edited with caution to not change the meaning--or to make such a broad statement that the anti-Arabian people start charging in and screaming that the article is POV-pushing <sigh>. So I welcome your ideas and I agree that "un-clunkifying" the language is necessary. Montanabw 06:05, 26 October 2006 (UTC)