User:Torak/Burundian Kowtowing Toadies
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History And Origins[edit]
The Burundian Kowtowing Toadies are a fictional species, developed through a series of ludicrous and unlikely comments in discussions on Sink Into Your Eyes, a Harry Potter fan fiction site. While they began life as a joke, they were quickly appropriated by the SIYE community and soon made their way into a number of fics.
Description[edit]
Originally amphibian, members of this vaguely humanoid species can grow to three or four feet tall, and have evolved over the millennia to be perfectly suited for life in a modern business environment, as demonstrated by their camouflaged skin.
They subsist on human flesh and lattes, and hunt by flattering their prey until the prey turns its back - and then they strike.
Their mating call - which, with extended exposure, can cause serious brain damage to humans - is a hideous droning which to the untrained ear bears certain similarities to business jargon; it is highly unwise to utter the words "synergy", "leverage" or "vision statement" anywhere near a BKT unless protected by a well-made athletic support. It's not a pretty sight.
The call of "koo-FI! koo-FI!" accompanies the feeding frenzy that these creatures can be whipped into by quantities of caffeine or, oddly, cocoa.
The creatures appear drawn to doughnuts, Post-It notes and creatures with very high bladder-to-brain ratios (as shown in research by the learned Dr Scott Adams), which are the Toadies' primary prey.
Unsubstantiated rumours from the tribes living near the Toadies' native habitats suggest that these pests can be controlled by means of potent toadicides known as "bajitt ri'kwest" and "pafo mansri'vyou". Research is ongoing to determine the exact form of these measures, following the recent BKT outbreaks in London, New York and Seattle.
Little is known about the female of the species, or if there is indeed any noticeable difference. Smaller examples are known to have been purchased by celebrities (particularly film studio executives) as pets, though it is suspected that their domestication is a mere ruse to more easily approach their prey.
Using The Toadies[edit]
While the Toadies were invented for use within the Harry Potter universe, they are a separate entity. They are copyright of their co-creators, Andrew Perry and Eric Bronson, writing under the pseudonyms of Torak and Spenser Hemmingway, respectively. The Toadies may be used in fics under the terms of the GFDL, though its creators request that any use is listed by simply adding an Edit Summary with a link to the primary URL of the story it is used in.
If you use the Toadies in a fic and in some way add to their background, feel free to add that information to this file.